14 October 2014

The Feeling of Being Complete


"As the nurse and resident doctor pushed the hospital bed where I laid down, I can't hardly understand how I really feel. We passed by the nurse station where I saw the other nurses smiling as if telling me that everything will be okay. The doctor was even sweet enough to compliment that I look young for my age, much more undergo a major operation. I smiled weakly. As we pushed our way towards the restricted room, reality hit me. I was positioned facing a wide glass window overlooking the blueness of the sky. It was a sunny afternoon and while the rest of the world are pre-occupied with their own works, here I am waiting to be operated. I looked up and saw the surgical lights gazing at me. The nurses were also busy preparing the things needed for the surgery. I could clearly hear the clinking sound of the medical instruments put together in one tray. The anesthesiologist stood by my side and informed me on what will happen. Then in a matter of seconds, I felt pain as the anesthesia seeped through my veins and my body slowly became numb. I shed a tear and tried to fix my eyes at the surgical lights but everything was blurred. I felt two people assisting me to lie on my side for the second shot of anesthesia on my spinal. When I opened my eyes, I already found myself inside the recovery room." 

A month ago, I've suffered from frequent stomach pain. I thought it was just the typical type of pain but when I started experiencing chest pain, I decided to consult a doctor. The first diagnosis was gastritis. I was advised by the doctor to take some medicines, avoid oily food and eat lots of fruits and vegetables. I thought everything was already okay until one day, I had to consult a specialist to have a second opinion. I went to see a gastroenterologist and was advised to undergo different laboratory tests. Unfortunately, it was found out in the ultrasound that I had a cyst and fibroid (leiomyoma) specifically in my left ovary. 


I could still remember the words uttered by the radiologist during the ultrasound. "You have a cyst which is almost 7cm and fibroid in your left ovary. In most cases, a patient must undergo medical surgery to remove the cyst as big as yours. Your doctor will refer you to an OB-Gyne so you could be examined carefully." I tried my best to stay calm after hearing those words. The moment I stepped out of the room, I began to cry. I was shocked, frightened and totally unprepared for what I was about to go through. It was then that I felt the downside of working abroad. I wanted to be with my family right then and there but I can't do anything as of the moment. The OB-Gyne had the same diagnosis and explained to me what needs to be done. I was brave enough to ask a lot of questions for me to become aware and atleast open about my condition. She said that once I decide to undergo with the surgery, an immediate family should be present to sign the waiver. I had two options then: to have the surgery in UAE or in the Philippines. I chose the latter. 

Sadly, I was admitted in the hospital a day prior my schedule because of the uncontrollable pain I experienced. It was really a tough time for me. I was also battling with my fears since I have this negative notion about hospital and surgical operations. The fact also that our family has a history of cancer made it even worse. But then, I tried my best to be positive about everything. The operation lasted for 5 hours. According to the doctor, an exploratory laparotomy was done first which required small incisions, as a way to confirm the diagnosis before they opened up my abdomen.  Unfortunately, the cyst in my left ovary has already leaked and the myoma, which was as big as a closed fist was the cause of my ruptured ovary. The doctors had to remove the myoma, left ovary and left fallopian tube and was forwarded to the laboratory for biopsy. I was relieved when the result stated no evidence of malignancy. However, there's a small myoma left on my uterine wall but my OB said that they did not remove it anymore because it's located in the bloody part. That is why I was recommended to undergo medication for 6 months to totally clean the area, dissolve the small myoma and at the same time preserve my right ovary. I also had an estimated blood loss of 400 cc so I had blood transfusion right after the surgery. I was quite emotional for some time because of what happened. It's a sad reality knowing that I have to live my life with only one ovary. I am aware that there are pros and cons but everything has a purpose. God has a purpose. 


Two weeks had passed and I'm now on the road to recovery. Things are back to normal but I still need to get a lot of rest and refrain first from strenuous activities. In 2 months time, I can already go back to work but will still continue with my oral medications. Despite the circumstances, I know that I am really blessed because of the outpour of support and help I get from my closed friends, colleagues and most especially from my family. They have been patient enough to accompany me during my check ups, on the day of the surgery until now that I am still recuperating. I'm so lucky to be surrounded with such a strong support group. I consider this as my second life --- another chapter, a new beginning. I was strong enough to face my fears, let alone allow my condition to hinder me from enjoying the life God has planned for me. There's always something wonderful to look forward to at the end of each day.


Jeremiah 29:11 
" For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


My Chararat Girls

 La Familia Y Suzon




My favorite boy in the world


Supportive Friends


Up and well again!



4 comments:

john dale bernal said...

great post miss ivy <3

Cristine Ann Nuevas said...

as always! wonderful blog ate! very inspiring! get well soon!! :)

ivyvillanueva said...

Thanks JD! hehe

ivyvillanueva said...

Thanks Crissa! Medyo inspired lang to write about the experience. hehe Take Care always! :)